I must start off by saying happy birthday to my wonderful fiance, Daniel. Yesterday he officially joined the "30s Club"....it's about time! I have spent 11 months and 1 day (not counting) as a 30-something dating/engaged to a 20-something. But now we're even...until I turn 31 next month.
His birthday was lovely, despite the fact that I had to work and one of my clients wanted me to stay late to finish his note, which had no hope of getting done until the next morning anyway. One public transportation ride later, I was finally at my car, ready to go home, ready to celebrate Daniel's entry into "you can no longer deny we're adults", when I realized that I had a pit stop to make. I needed to go to CVS to get a card (and some Diet Coke....I mean, I figured while I was there, I might as well stock up). I had looked for cards previously at the Hallmark store but walked out empty handed....and all because of one reason:
Hearts.
Try finding a card that is for someone you love (but are not related to...an important (legal) distinction) that does not have a heart on it and you'll quickly find it's an exercise in frustration tolerance. Every single card...heart on the cover, heart on the inside, heart not-so-cleverly disguised as a sun, hearts used to dot lowercase i's...it was ridiculous! The only funny side note on my card shopping experience was that as I was looking in the "Love" section, there was one slot that was labeled "Father" - Awkward! I can't imagine which would be more mortifying, giving your boyfriend/fiance a card that says "Daddy" or giving your dad a romantic card...either way the Freudian implications are astounding!
In my growing frustration, I considered actually just getting a card with a heart on it and calling it a day. Daniel, to the best of my knowledge, has no beef with hearts. He doesn't sit around doodling hearts, but as far as I know, he doesn't abhor them the way I do. For instance, because we registered for a certain amount of items from Lenox for our wedding, they sent us a free gift - toasting flutes. Without opening the box, Daniel was very excited that we received these....having done a lot of looking for wedding-related things, I was more skeptical, suggesting, "Let's take them out and see them. Who knows, they could have hearts on them." And sure enough, a silver heart was attached to each glass. Because, as you know, if you love someone, you must express it through a heart. (and if you're interested in these flutes, they will be on ebay shortly.)
And I guess that's what I hate about hearts - they require no effort at all. And they're cheesey. Great for the second-grade Valentine's Day cards you had to give to everyone in your class....not great for expressing a completely profound emotion that has the power to transform lives. I guess expressing love however you choose to do it is the most important part (let me step down from my judgmental soapbox for a second). But how much more meaningful it is to express it in a way that is truly unique to the person you are expressing it to. Which is why I LOVE homemade gifts. Making cards or gifts allows us to communicate that not only do we love that person, but that we truly see that person and their unique qualities. For me, one of the best gifts I could ever get would be fuzzy socks. I love fuzzy socks to a degree that I'm almost certain would concern my mental health colleagues. If my feet are cold, I am miserable. I wear them all year around, even through the Texas summers. In addition to keeping my feet nice and toasty, they allow me to get a good running start on our carpet and then go sliding down the front hall into the kitchen. They are wonderful. But this is not something readily known to others. I know that the person who gives me flowers loves me (or at least likes me)...the person who gives me fuzzy socks, knows me.
Eventually, I picked out a card intended for "Husband" and simply inserted a "soon-to-be" before "husband". The card had a dog and a cat on it, meaningful to him as it recognized our intense love for dogs - he loved it. For a birthday gift, I gave him a book called the Texas Football Vault - a history of Longhorn football which includes replicas of old tickets and programs. Again, meaningful to him. Again, he loved it (and I told him to lie if he didn't).
As I get ready to search for a Christmas card for him, I'm certain to run into the same headache - lovey-dovey cards that reduce a powerful emotion to cliche, rhyming lines. So maybe I'll take my own advice and write my own....but what rhymes with barbeque?
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